We’ll always have Paris…
At least that’s what our elected representatives in the House were saying yesterday as they allowed their annual cost of living increase to quietly pass through the dark of the night with a parliamentary move that allowed them to block having to actually vote on the increase.
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I only need to imagine the conversation spreading yesterday through Congress’ hallowed halls like wildfire…
Congresswoman #1 - Hey, I was watching CNN in the opulently adorned private chambers of my over-crowded with interns and assistants who actually do my job office and saw that they have a clock counting down the minutes and second until Larry King interviews Paris Hilton.
Congresswoman #2 - Yeah, I’m having a party in my office for anybody who’s interested in watching her tell how hard it was for her in jail. You know, even though my district’s a little north of LA, I spend a lot of time there rubbing elbows with the Hollywood elites that fund our election campaigns and well… what happened to her was a travesty.
Congresswoman #1 - You’re right sister. But I got an idea. Why don’t we vote on that COLA-thing tonight? Since we got everybody here watching poor Paris it’ll be easy to get the vote done. Even the Republicans want a raise… and since they’re all coming to your get-together we’ll all be friendly and the Whips can make sure that the vote is carefully orchestrated to protect those in tough districts. They can vote no to make it look like they’re against it, while those of us in safe seats can vote yes and ensure that we all get paid more.
Congresswoman #2 - Gee that sounds like a great idea. What’s even better is that most of America will be paying attention to the Paris story, so we’ll be able to get it through without any real scrutiny.Congresswoman #1 - Thank God. I need that raise. It’s been really hard for me to get by on the measly $165K we’re getting right now. I mean, the junkets to Puerto Rico and stuff make my vacations free. I’m able to pad the expense account pretty well, but how’s a girl supposed to get by?
Congresswoman #2 - I heard it can be tough. You know I really don’t have to worry about it much since my husband’s making alot of money with all of those low interest government loans he’s getting for his business. But if it makes you happy - well that’s good enough for me.















