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This morning as I was heading to a meeting, I caught a portion of this report on National Proletariat Radio.  Apparently the use of condoms has had a signicant level of success in combatting the spread of HIV-AIDs in the African nation of Ethiopia.  The report hinted at the idea that perhaps some Afro-centric flavors (like coffee) of the latex sleeves may have had something to do with this.

What struck me as bizarre about the report though was the significant quantity of condoms needed to keep up with the sexual demand among Ethiopians.  According to an official with a community health organization tasked with distributing condoms to all those who ask, they currently have about 25 million in stock.  The report went on to indicate that only about 5 percent of the country’s population actually use condoms and the 25 million in inventory with this particular organization would be about enough to provide for a year’s worth of supply to their clients.

Which got me thinking, that sounds like a lot of condoms - which in turn means a lot of sex.

So I took it upon myself to look a little further.

First and foremost I found out that the population of Ethiopia was estimated to be almost 75 million in 2006.  Let’s assume that the organization in question is one of three responsible for distributing “free condoms” to the population (there are probably more, but so as to put the best face on the situation let’s just make that assumption) and that the second and third organizations require the same level of inventory as the first.  Let’s also surmise that about 50 percent of the population secures it’s condoms for free (the rest of them show up at the local trading post in Addis Ababa and sheepishly request the pina colada flavored french ticklers for which they gladly exchange a few of their hard-earned Birrs).  Let’s also assume that of that 5 percent of the population, at least 1 in 5 is probably an awkward teenager walking around with an engraved raised ring of relief in his backpack where the same “lucky condom” has resided (and will remain until some drunken night many years in the future) since he became sexually-aware.   One final assumption is that condom users regularly practice safe sex and thus each condom is equivalent to a sexual encounter. Oh yeah, because Ethipia has one of the highest child marriage rates in the world (almost 40% of Ethiopian girls are married by the time they’re 15), we can assume that at least 60% of the adult (sexually active) population is married and no longer find it necessary to perform protected sex.  Using those factors as parts of my equation, I come up with the following reality:

The average Ethiopian is getting laid a whole lot more than I am (hell, they’re having more sex than Wilt Chamberlain was in his heyday).

The math for those who insist on touching the wall when they see a sign attached saying “WET PAINT” before they can deem it a fact is as follows:

Ethiopian population of 75 million people X 40% unmarried adults = 30 million people

Of those 30 million people only 5% use condoms = 1.5 million people

Of that 1.5 million only about 80% are actually using the condoms they have = 1.2 million people

25 million condoms per organization X 3 = 75 million condoms

75 million condoms / 1.2 million people = 62.5 condoms per person

Only 1/2 of the population gets their condoms for free 62.5 x 2 = 125 total condoms per person

One final thing, in this sexually-liberated world in which we live - is it too much to think that men and women are now carrying this form of protection in equal abundance?  And that those who are sexually active are active with one another?  Since this is a family audience, let’s assume that these interactions are all one-on-one and since on ly one condom is necessary per act that conceivably means that 2 people with an annual consumption of 125 condoms per person actually are participating in 250 sex acts per year!

It’s time for Ethiopians to get a new hobby.  Either that or become a top destination for international sex tourism…