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I swear, not even the best comedy writers out there could come up with this stuff - from today’s Openers:

No flags for Dennis, but LaRouche fans sing for him

Posted by Stephen Koff June 13, 2007 10:49AM

Whoops. Wrong news conference. Congressional aides were setting up American flags for a 10:15 a.m. news conference for House Speaker Nancy Pelosi today when a reporter told them that reporters had assembled for a different event: Dennis Kucinich’s scheduled 9:30 a.m. news conference. Confusion happens, especially when politicians and interest groups stack up to use the outdoor terrace of the Cannon House Office Building, with the U.S. Capitol as the backdrop. 

So the aides to Pelosi, who would discuss the vote today to boost federal spending on veterans’ benefits, hustled the five flags off to the side. They also put aside their banner, which said, “Honoring Our Promises to America’s Veterans.” Kucinich, arriving late with California’s Maxine Waters to announce that she has become a copsonsor of his impeach-Dick-Cheney bill, went flag- and banner-less.

He did, however, have a handful of pink-clad women from the anti-war group Code Pink standing behind him. And further back, but keeping their distance, were veterans in their crisp VFW-style hats, waiting to applaud Pelosi’s efforts.

Kucinich’s news? That Waters becomes the eighth co-sponsor of the impeachment measure. Congressional Progressive Caucus leaders Barbara Lee and Lynn Woolsey, both of California, are already co-sponsors, and Waters’ added support “is of national significance,” Kucinich said.

It was hard to hear, thanks to construction at a House office building across the street.

Kucinich and Waters said why they think Cheney must be impeached (lies and deceit, they said, that drove the country to a disasterous war). It’s been slow going for Kucinich, however, in getting support sure from colleagues to impeach the vice president. He said he’ll be back for another news conference when the number hits 25. There’s no saying when — or if — that will be.

In fact, Kucinich acknowledged that his party’s leaders in Congress have “been very engaged with the Democratic agenda… The leadership has made its commitment to an agenda. We understand that impeachment is not on the agenda of the leadership. But it is on the agenda of the American people.”

It also is on the agenda of Lyndon LaRouche, the uber-conspiracy theorist whose youth movement has been quite engaged of late. In fact, a cluster of LaRouche youth cheered with Code Pink as Kucinich concluded his remarks, and then the youth (mostly college-age) broke into a song whose lyrics were:

“Farewell, Dick Cheney. You are a Nazi. Farewell, Dick Cheney, farewell you neo-con. You’re out of fashion. Go take vacation with your homeboy, Satan…”

For the record, there is no known connection between Dennis Kucinich and Lyndon LaRouche other than their separate dedication to this cause.

I just wish the fishwrap would print more of it (instead of just posting it on their blog) so that the disconnected blue-hairs who still think he’s great because “he saved MunyLight” could see what he’s really about.

Let me see now… Lyndon LaRouche, Maxine Waters, Lynne Woolsey, Cindy Sheehan now there’s a force to be reckoned with.