Cleveland’s BIG news - FIJ sighting
Boy oh boy, things are really happening on Ohio’s North Coast: leading the local news tonight was Mayor Frank “Inaction” Jackson’s (FIJ) efforts to make good on his bet with mayor Phil Hardberger of San Antonio after our Cavaliers got shellaced by their Spurs.After spending what seems like an eternity hiding out in an “undisclosed location” (also known as the mayor’s office) FIJ gathered up all of his top-ranking lieutenants and the local media to go on a tour of the city procuring Ohio City Pasta, Hot Sauce Williams BBQ, and Great Lakes Brewing Company beer to send in a surrender package to his San Antonio counterpart.
The highlight of the mayor’s tour was his appearance at Hot Sauce Williams where a small child asked his parent as the mayor and his entourage strode by, “who’s that Daddy?”
To which the father replied, “I’m not sure, but it could be Howard Hughes. Nobody’s seen him in quite a while.”
Ironically FIJ chose not to enclose a card (how fitting for the mayor nobody knows) - no wonder nobody knows who he is.
The little boy’s question reminds of the Christmas tree lighting at Public Square this past December. Everyone around me was shocked that no one knew who Mayor Jackson was…and the sound of crickets chirping when he was introduced.
Not a single person in the crowd acknowledged him. I kind of felt bad for the guy…it was real embarassing.